Bri’s Guide to Surviving the Holidays Alone
Holidays may feel a little different this year. Gone are the big family meals and Christmas carols by the fireplace. This year, they’re being replaced with “It’s not my wifi, check yours!” and the reconnecting screen during the Christmas toast. I am no stranger to spending a holiday or a few by myself. I have done 5 Christmases, 3 Thanksgivings, and countless New Years; from personal experience, the last one is the most lonely.Whether this is your first time spending the holidays alone, or you’re a pro like me; here are my tips on how to spend the holidays alone.
If you are new to this scene, this is probably an extremely difficult time for you. Sure, several holidays have passed, but all the major ones happen in December. No one is going to bat an eye if you’re not home for Thanksgiving but Christmas isn’t meant to be spent alone. It is important to remember there’s a difference between being alone and being lonely. Don’t become a victim of your circumstances. When you are alone you can find comfort in being by yourself, when you’re lonely, hours can feel like days. Distinguish the difference and do not cast yourself out.
- DO reach out to loved ones
- Do your normal routine
- DO allow yourself to feel emotions
- DO NOT force yourself to do anything
- DO NOT spend the day sulking on social
- DO NOT
Make the Best out of your day
First of all, issa whole pandemic, this year was in no way what I had in mind when I said I wanted 2020 to be memorable. Chances are you probably have other friends and family members who are also feeling the same way as you right now. Don’t be afraid to reach out to them, bring it back to early 2020 when we spent all of our time on zoom calls. If your current vibe is the complete opposite and all you want to do is lay in bed and binge-watch TV while drowning your sorrows in Chinese and wine, that’s okay. No one, and I mean no one, will judge you. Christmas is the one holiday where we get to look inside ourselves and think of someone other than the person staring back at us in the mirror. It’s the season of giving, so practice some of that and give yourself a break. Whether you decide to spend the day in your underwear on the couch binge-watching K-Dramas or baking cookies and cupcakes; live the day to its fullest.
Make plans
You’re probably not the only person in your friend group who is currently going through the ” I can’t go home for the holidays because -“. PLEASE ADHERE TO THE CDC GUIDELINES FOR YOUR CITY, STATE, OR COUNTRY and plan a get-together. There are adorable igloos (insert hyperlink) in Manhattan that you can rent; grab 6 of your friends ( WHO TESTED NEGATIVE) and spend some time together. If outside gives you the scaries; head to the group chat, pick a house and do a friendmas. Make some boozy hot chocolate, roast the marshmallows, and count your blessings together
If a holiday with friends is out of the question one of my favorite ways to spend the holidays is doing volunteer work. Every Thanksgiving, I take the train up to Morningside in Harlem and help the local fire department feed displaced people. I started doing this back in 2017 with my sorority but it quickly became something near and dear to my heart. Maybe it’s the fact that I get to spend time with my chosen family on the day that I feel the most alone or maybe it’s being able to help put a smile on someone’s face and food on their table. Instead of spending the day sulking at home, I got out of the house, got on a train, and made good use of myself on a day that’s all about giving.
Have a good distraction
Let me be completely transparent with you, spending the holidays alone can suck. I remember the first time it happened, I was 14-16 spending Christmas (my favorite holiday) home alone with my dog and eating instant pasta. I won’t tell you to be cheery and get in the Christmas spirit, I spent that entire day crying all the tears I had left. It sucks to be alone when the holidays are all about togetherness; in times like that, you need a distraction.If you’re looking for a sign to DIY something, this is it. Seriously, head to that Pinterest board filled with holiday recipes you’ve been dying to try and Betty Crocker that bish. Run to the store before they all close, grab all your items, and ask Alexa for a recipe to lead the way. On sad days we all need a distraction and there’s nothing better than one that will also keep you fed.
Not into cooking, there’s definitely a project somewhere around the house that you’ve been putting off for some time. Update your resume- we all had a stint of unemployment this year. Repaint your room, read a book, start planning the year ahead, and when in doubt; TREAT YO’ SELF. The tree-sized elephant in the room will not get any less elephant-y but it will no longer be a though in the front of your mind even if its for a little bit.
Delete your socials
Most importantly, avoid social media today. These apps have a habit of showing you what you don’t have at the worst moments. Want a flat stomach? here come the IG models on reels. Want a life of luxury, your explore page is filled with people driving their Teslas to their mansions. Sometimes it can be a little hard not to get swept into social media envy. I deliberately try to spend these holidays taking a day off my socials. It tends to make me feel bluer when I’m home alone and everyone is posting their families, presents, and all of their favorite aspects of the day. Don’t sign on today, and if you need to, delete the app just for the day; it’s worth it in the end.
If this is your first holiday alone, please remember that it get's better and that you are loved. Feel free to reach out to me if you need someone to talk to today.
