Why I Decided To Take a Solo Trip…

I’m halfway across the world completely alone and it’s kind of unnerving but in the words of Eleanor Roosevelt “ Do one thing every day that scares you”. and for me, this was it.I’ve always been the kind of person to not do something if there’s no one to do it with. If I want to see a movie and none of my friends wanted to go… Guess who’s not going to the movies? My friends AND me. I have missed out on cool events, museums trips, concerts, whatever you can name because I’ve always felt like I couldn’t do it alone. Not in the co-dependent “I need you so I can live” kind of way but more of in a ” well this would be really awkward”, or “I wouldn’t want to be alone” kind of way. I consider this to be one of my biggest, if not my biggest downfall. Do you know how many opportunities you miss out on by waiting for other people to be down too? So how did I get all “Eat, Pray, Love” and decided to do a complete 180 on my life? Well let’s keep reading…

I wanted to go to Greece for my birthday, I even had a hashtag… #briturns23insantorini. However, everyone agreed but when it was time to book flights and hotels everyone began to flake little by little. I found a round trip for $400 but no one wanted to put down for it and my fear was paying for the trip then having to cancel because no one else paid. I mean come on, SOLO IN SANTORINI ? There was no way I was going to do that. Little did I know I would still end up taking a solo trip but it wouldn’t be the trip I expected.

A few months later around early November, I realized no one was going to make it to Greece with me and I felt kind of bummed. I’ve been planning this birthday for a while, it was my dream to travel for my 23rd, I mean come on… I even made a hashtag. So, of course, being the person that I have been for the past 22 years of life I decided to cancel the trip. I stared at pictures of Santorini, Mykonos, Athens, etc, on twitter and dreamed about waking up on my birthday excited to see the sunrise and another beautiful year. While being absolutely sad on the timeline one day, I decided that I was tired of not being able to do whatever I wanted because there was no one to do it with. Missing out on events, concerts, movies, and definitely traveling because there was no one to join me sucked. I knew there was no one to blame but myself but I also knew there was absolutely nothing I would do about it. Could I consider this being stuck between a rock and a hard place? It sure felt like it.

So one day whilst on one of my spiritual “what do I do to better myself?” journeys I made an insanely rash decision and decided: ” What the hell? I’m not going to let other people stop me, I WILL TRAVEL TO SANTORINI”. However, at this point we’re two months away from my birthday, there are no flights to Santorini and all the flights to Athens are a lot more than I can afford. Yet, I still wanted to travel. At this point, I felt like I NEEDED to travel. I owed it to myself to get out of my comfort zone and just enjoy the company of myself. Once I decided I was crazy but this was what I was determined to do, I called up my older brother. He is something like a travel connoisseur so I asked him what were some safe places to travel solo. This is something I suggest doing, don’t just put your hand on a map and go “hmph this is where I’ll go”. I told him some options I had in mind and almost immediately he told me to go to Amsterdam. So what did I do? I began booking for Amsterdam, I hadn’t even told my parents yet and I already knew that was going to be one hell of a conversation.

I’ll skip all the good parts about finding tickets, hotels, hostels, etc because that’s for a post to come but I will say that this did not go over easily with my parents. At the time I was 22, living at home (NYC rent is not cheap), but in my opinion pretty independent. However, to them, this must have been the scariest thing in the world. My mother lost her mind telling me “share your location, call me twice a day, I won’t sleep until I hear from you”. Meanwhile, my father was extremely proud, asked for my hotel info and sent me on my way with some euros.

To even see the reaction from my parents put more than the fear of God into me. The week leading up to it I was terrified. When my parents dropped me to JFK I was shook like a little autumn leaf on a winter tree. With my heart in my hand, it took all the courage in me to not skip the flight. Could you blame me? I was the type of person who wouldn’t even eat at restaurants alone and here I was hours away from traveling across the world alone…talk about big steps. Even with my stomach in the tightest knots ever, I knew this would be the right decision for me.

Throughout my trip I did everything alone, I know people always say that solo female travelers should make friends but it’s not like I spoke Deutsch. I ate every meal alone, sometimes in my room on Facetime with my friends, often in a bar or restaurant at a table for two because people couldn’t fathom why someone would go out alone. I went to bars solo, visited museums, tourist attractions and just got lost in the city all on my own and was it scary? Completely, but as the days went by it became less dreadful and more of something I anticipated. I spent my birthday at a rooftop restaurant with a 360-degree view of the city by myself and the alone part didn’t seem to bother me as much. By my last day in Amsterdam, I was visiting food halls and going to popular restaurants with my head held high just excited by the fact that I was there instead of sad that there was no one to share it with

For 2020 I did something totally out of character, I stepped out of my shell and traveled alone and it was exhilarating. While I did make a friend on my last day there, almost everything I did was alone; this coming from the girl who would deny herself the simplest of things because of the fear of being alone. Since then I’ve taken myself to dinner alone. I took a weekend trip to Dallas, and I have yet to turn down an experience because there’s no one to share it with. So while it’s true I took this holiday as a birthday trip, I feel like the real reason I traveled to Amsterdam alone was to force myself to grow into the individual I’ve been fighting to be for a while. I encourage everyone to take a solo trip whether it be to break out of your shell or to learn something new about yourself. No matter the reason, the trip will be an experience you wont forget !

And That’s The Tea,

Bri.